What is Violent Communication?

If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication is the integration of 4 things:

Consciousness

A set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity.

Language

Understanding how words contribute to connection or distance.

Communication

Knowing how to ask for what you want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move forward towards solutions that work for all.

Means of influence

Sharing “power with others” rather than using “power over others”.

NVC serves our desire to do three things:

Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection

Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships

Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit

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What people are saying about NVC

“Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, without any criticism, insults, or put-downs, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.”

– Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Please scroll and click on any book cover to learn more

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of those feelings and needs, people lose their desires to attack back because they see the human ignorance leading to those attacks. Instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.”

Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph. D.