Connecting Across Differences

Finding Common Ground with Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime

By Jane Marantz Connor, By Dian Killian

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  • Connecting Across Differences Front Cover
  • Connecting Across Differences Back Cover

Description

Effective nonviolent communication skills from the bedroom to the boardroom.
In this fully revised second edition, Dr. Dian Killian and Dr. Jane Marantz Connor offer a comprehensive and accessible introductory guide to exploring the concepts, applications, and transformative power of the Nonviolent Communication process. Providing research-based insight into the psychology of communication, this reference explores the most common barriers to effective communication and provides tangible steps to address these barriers head-on. The book features an expanded selection of relevant, meaningful exercises, role-plays, and activities that give readers the chance to immediately apply the concepts to real-life experiences. With lessons including how to transform negative self-talk into self-empowerment, how to foster trust and collaboration when stakes are high, and how to defuse anger, enemy images, and other barriers to connection, Connecting Across Differences teaches effective communication skills that get to the root of conflict, pain, and violence peacefully.

Endorsements

Cover endorsements:

“Connecting Across Differences has changed how I approach my work and life. Using empathy to connect with my feelings and needs and with the feelings and needs of the people around me has made me happier and more effective. Jane and Dian, thank you for guiding me on this journey.”
—ROBERT MCGUIRE, Executive Director, Merck, Inc.

“This book covers every question that I have had myself or been asked about how to learn and integrate this simple yet challenging reframe of communication with self and others.”
—KIT MILLER, Director, M.K. Gandhi Institute For Nonviolence

Interior endorsements:

What People Are Saying About
Connecting Across Differences, 2nd Edition

“Connecting Across Differences has changed how I approach my work and life. Using empathy to connect with my feelings and needs and with the feelings and needs of the people around
me has made me happier and more effective. Jane and Dian, thank you for guiding me on this journey.”
—ROBERT MCGUIRE, Executive Director, Merck, Inc.

“Dian Killian is a remarkable woman with a great message that brings wisdom to the field of nonviolence.”
—HOWARD GLASSER, Author, Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach

“Connecting Across Differences capacitates learners with essential personal and interpersonal skills and knowledge needed to nurture and build a culture of peace. Killian and Connor’s thoughtfully constructed guidebook opens doors to the possibility for authentic dialogue between self and others and illuminates multiple paths to living with integrity. This book should be on the shelf of every peacemaker.”
—TONY JENKIS, Director of Education, National Peace Academy

“Having taught Nonviolent Communication for many years, it seems to me that this book covers every question that I have had myself or been asked about how to learn and integrate this simple yet challenging reframe of communication with self and others. I am grateful to Dian and Jane for this contribution to the field of applied nonviolence.”
—KIT MILLER, Director, M.K. Gandhi Institute For Nonviolence

What People Have Said About
Connecting Across Differences, 1st Edition

“Connecting Across Differences describes how to communicate in a way that leads to greater understanding and more positive relationships. Ultimately, it provides not just practical methods; it
espouses a philosophy of personal responsibility and respect for others and ourselves. The wisdom of this book is a great guide in living with full awareness and compassion.”
—DANIEL PHARR, PhD., Chief Psychologist, Bronx Psychiatric Center

“Fabulous book for developing better relationships! If you want to build awareness, find peace, and make a difference, this practical book helps you communicate with love and compassion and shift from old ways of judging self and others toward connecting more deeply.”
—MARTHA LASLEY, Author, Courageous Visions: How to Unleash Passionate Energy in Your Life and Organizations

“Connecting Across Differences addresses real life concerns with candor, clarity, and compassion. The authors use a variety of engaging dialogues, exercises, and examples to show how the powerful process of Nonviolent Communication can enrich personal relationships. It is engaging reading for people of all ages who long for more connection and understanding in the world.”
—SURA HART, Coauthor, Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids, The Compassionate Classroom, and The No-Fault Classroom

“I’ve utilized Connecting Across Differences in both my education and my clinical work as a social worker. As a student, I found the book enlightening and revolutionary in its application of compassion and real world communication skills. As a professional, it has allowed me to be a leader and social advocate and has maximized my ability to hold others with compassion during emotionally difficult times. This is an incredible tool for anyone attempting to live a more compassionate and satisfying life in any context.”
—PETER PRZERADZKI, Case Manager and Psychotherapist

“NVC has been an invaluable tool for connecting with those around me—my clients, family, and friends. NVC has helped me to move beyond doing what is expected and customary to formulating goals and making choices that enrich me and truly meet my needs.”
—ROXANE MANNING, PhD., Clinical Psychologist, Raleigh-Durham

“In my twenty-six years as a professor of communication, I have found that students rarely like textbooks. Connecting Across Differences marks a major exception. Students love how this book
is written—in a compelling and clear way—and how the examples deal with their everyday lives. Connor and Killian teach how we can communicate and connect, live and love in empathic and
compassionate ways that meet our needs and the needs of others. In this time of war, both students and I feel thrilled to learn that alternatives exist to our traditional patterns of linear thinking, judging, criticizing, comparing and contrasting.”
—LOIS EINHORN, Professor of Rhetoric and Composition

“As both a mother and mature student, my communication skills have improved with Connecting Across Differences. I find that my relationships, especially with my children, are dramatically
changing for the better. Most of all, I have gained insight into how I communicate with myself. I am now learning self-empathy and how to heal some deep-rooted wounds.”
—MAGGIE CLEMENTS, Binghamton University Student

“I taught Nonviolent Communication to a class of peace and social activists using Jane and Dian’s book. The students found it inspiring and invaluable in their learning experience. I love the clarity, organization, and universality of their approach to NVC.”
—CHRISTINE KING, CNVC Certified Trainer

“Connecting Across Differences, through numerous illustrations and examples, raises awareness about the covert, passive violence that M.K. Gandhi described as being more insidious than physical violence. Nonviolent Communication and this book offer an antidote.”
—CYNTHIA MOE, Georgia Network for Nonviolent Communication

“This book gives a step-by-step guide for getting closer to our inner world and achieving a better understanding of oneself and others. I especially like the exercises, the sequence of chapters, and how easy to read and understand the language is.”
—MERIKE KAHJA, Empathy Trainer, Talinn, Estonia

“A captivating book where we are shown tools to increase our understanding of one another and ourselves . . . and the compassion we so desperately want.”
—MICHELLE RUSSO, Binghamton University Student

“Empathy isn’t limited to certain subjects—it works for situations being gay, straight, with school problems, roommate issues, and even comes in handy when dealing with teachers. I think you should have great results with this book because the examples are real life problems—and solutions.”
—JONATHAN CRIMES, Multicultural Psychology Student

“Basic concepts covered in Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life are given a much broader discussion in Connecting Across Differences, including more exercises to test my understanding of the practice of communicating nonviolently. This is not another communications-theories book. I found it to be a practical guide to improving interpersonal communications and mediating conflict in my life—at work and at home; with loved ones, colleagues, and even with strangers. I highly recommend this book for those interested in improving the quality of their life through greater connection and more meaningful interaction with the people in their lives.”
—ANONYMOUS, Amazon.com

“I’ve studied Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life for three years, and have gotten huge benefits out of it. So why another book on NVC? This book is a wonderful complement to Rosenberg’s book. With clear and detailed explanations, extensive exercises, cartoons and photos, tables and charts, it helps make NVC even more alive and doable. This guidebook is like taking a workshop in compassionate communication.”
—ANONYMOUS, Amazon.com

NVC Conflict Resolution Web Resources

Click here for Featured Conflict Resolution Articles.
Click here for Marshall Rosenberg Conflict Resolution Articles
Click here for Marshall Rosenberg Conflict Resolution Videos
Click here for Nonviolent Communication Conflict Resolution Articles
Click here for Nonviolent Communication Conflict Resolution Videos
There is a wealth of information on Nonviolent Communication – in articles and videos. Of course we endorse all of Marshall’s sharing’s, however, there are many transcripts and videos created by others. Due to limited resources we do not verify the full accuracy of any particular video or articles created by others, even though there is plenty of wonderful and educational information on the web.