Nonviolent Communication™ and Restorative Justice
“Restorative justice is based on the question: how do we restore peace? In other words, how do we restore a state in which people care about one another’s well-being?”
More information on this topic coming soon. In the meantime, please enjoy this article from Joy Living Learning.
Nonviolent Communication & Restorative Circles
Meet L’aura Joy, born 1978, second generation Aurovilian, and passionate about Nonviolent Communication (or NVC for short). NVC, she explains, is about using communication as a means to get to the consciousness behind our words. “There’s so much judging and blaming, even if ever-so subtle, in our language, and we’re not aware of it. We’re conditioned by our upbringing, culture and education to speak and think in ways that create separation between us. Once we start dissecting our language, we realize that what we’re actually saying is not really what’s going on inside us. NVC supports us to become more conscious of why we say certain things and to understand what’s going on inside ourselves, without starting a blame game. At the same time, it’s about developing curiosity and listening skills to understand what’s really going on for the other person. NVC uses communication as a means, although the ultimate goal is not communication but the development of consciousness.”
L’aura got hooked on NVC after reading a book about Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, an American clinical psychologist. “I finished it in one night. A few weeks later the Auroville News & Notes carried a notice about a Nonviolent Communication workshop, and I signed up immediately. Within five minutes, I knew this was going to be my life. It struck home. It gave me such clarity about how we function as human beings, and how we can come back to our innate nature of goodness, from where we long and aspire to collaborate and work and live together harmoniously. I find NVC so empowering, because although it’s based on a deep philosophy, the practice is very do-able and practical. It’s a beautiful coming together of human psychology and spirituality.”
This, she says, is also the background of Marshall Rosenberg (1934-2015), who had studied psychology and comparative religion. He was inspired by Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who all chose nonviolence as a life path. Marshall’s quest was to understand what separated us as humans and what brought us back together. “I find that NVC deepens my understanding of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother’s teachings.” It’s a practice she now shares with others through workshops, coaching and consulting, being a Certified NVC Trainer herself (with the Centre for Nonviolent Communication, USA).
A natural offspring of NVC is the restorative justice system called Restorative Circles (RC), developed by NVC trainer Dominic Barter in the favelas (slums) of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. “It shares the philosophy of NVC that in our hearts we are good, that we want to be and do good, and if we don’t, it’s because we’ve somewhere along the way lost connection and trust. But, contrary to the normal justice systems that are punitive and don’t necessarily support long-term reconciliation and healing, RC’s intention is to restore trust and increase our willingness to co-exist, thereby bring- ing about a new kind of justice,” says L’aura. “But it asks for a huge shift in how we relate to justice, and I imagine it will take time before we can fully trust in it.”
RC invites people to keep talking until the conversation deepens. “Often conflicts are windows into old hurts, and in Auroville some of these hurts go back many years,” says L’aura. “We have so many stories about each other: when we open one, we get automatically drawn into another one, and then again another one. In RC, we therefore do not confine our discussion to one issue, but let things develop. Often, the true conflict lies behind the present one, in older issues that people might have been avoiding, often because they are too painful or appear risky…”
Please read the rest of this article here: https://www.joylivinglearning.org/writings/nonviolent-communication-and-restorative-circles
More information on Books about Conflict Resolution
NVC Restorative Justice Web Resources
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Click here for Nonviolent Communication Restorative Justice Videos
There is a wealth of information on Nonviolent Communication – in articles and videos. Of course we endorse all of Marshall’s sharing’s, however, there are many transcripts and videos created by others. Due to limited resources we do not verify the full accuracy of any particular video or articles created by others, even though there is plenty of wonderful and educational information on the web.