Nonviolent Communication™ and Meditation

“NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.”

Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD.

More information on this topic coming soon. In the meantime please check out the Talks on Meditation and Mindful Communication and these two articles from Tricycle and Shambala Times.

Say it Right

According to former psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, needs are never in opposition—only our strategies for meeting them are. A number of dharma teachers are finding that Rosenberg’s methods can serve as a support for the Buddhist practice of Right Speech.

It is a midsummer morning and I am meditating with my parents in their living room. At my back my father sits in an armchair, his right shoulder slumped from the stroke that threw him to his knees six months ago. My mother is upright in front of me on her seiza bench, her white hair falling over her shoulders.

I breathe in, making my whole body calm and at peace. The dial of the kitchen timer at my knee turns almost imperceptibly toward zero.

In front of us, sliding doors open onto a deck. Beyond the deck lie the white birches my parents planted thirty years ago and the sloping green Connecticut lawn. My parents are struggling to decide whether to stay here or move into assisted living, and most of my visit home has been spent on the phone with doctors, physical therapists, and lawyers expert in Medicaid and elder law.

Breathing in a long breath, I am aware that I am breathing in a long breath. Breathing out a long breath, I am aware that I am breathing out a long breath. Blessed silence. A fly rock-climbs up the screen door, halts, shifts a front leg, then a back one. My mother suddenly strips off a black flip-flop and lunges forward. Slap! Her flip-flop hits the screen door like a fly swatter. Bzzz bzzz. Slap…

Please read the rest of this article here: https://tricycle.org/magazine/say-it-right/

Buddhism and Nonviolent Communication

I first encountered Nonviolent Communication (NVC) during a short afternoon workshop as part of a month-long course on career exploration and development. At the time, it was merely a curiosity for me. NVC seemed like just another tool in the self-help box—a clunky tool that felt overly artificial because of the cumbersome “I” statements and other expressions it required. I was far more enamored with meditation practice, and the stillness and clarity that it cultivated within me.

But as a practicing lawyer, dealing in conflict as a trade, I eventually found myself yearning to connect what I was learning on the cushion with the rough and tumble of the challenging interactions in my professional and even my personal life. Buddhism provides some wonderful methods for doing this, and in embracing those teachings I found myself being drawn to various forms of conflict resolution and peace building. These explorations led me back to NVC, and this time, the parallels between the teachings of the Buddha and of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC, have been striking.

The purpose of NVC, in Dr. Rosenberg’s words, is to allow people to communicate in a way “that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.” Sound familiar? To me, at least, this is basically a description of getting in touch with basic goodness and creating enlightened society.

NVC guides us to focus our consciousness on four areas. First, we observe what is happening within and around us without judging or evaluating. Second, we identify what we are feeling, as opposed to what we are thinking or how we are interpreting the situation. Third, we uncover the needs that are at the root of our feelings and express them clearly. Fourth, we request that another person take an action that might fulfill our needs and enrich our lives, without demanding that the person satisfy our request in order to avoid judgment or punishment from us.

When first learning NVC, these four steps are often made very explicit. As a simple example, I might say, “When you slam the door, I feel frightened because I need peace and quiet in my environment. Would you mind closing the door more lightly next time?” But as I learned in that afternoon workshop years ago, speaking this way can seem very strained at first. Doing so in a situation with a high emotional charge is even more difficult. However, the exercise of even just trying to express oneself in these terms—sticking to observations, feelings, needs, and requests—can be very revealing, and also naturally leads to a very high degree of mindfulness…

Please read the rest of this article here: https://shambhalatimes.org/2018/10/18/buddhism-and-nonviolent-communication/

 

NVC Meditation Web Resources

Click here for Marshall Rosenberg Meditation Articles
Click here for Marshall Rosenberg Meditation Videos
Click here for Nonviolent Communication Meditation Articles
Click here for Nonviolent Communication Meditation Videos

There is a wealth of information on Nonviolent Communication – in articles and videos. Of course we endorse all of Marshall’s sharing’s, however, there are many transcripts and videos created by others. Due to limited resources we do not verify the full accuracy of any particular video or articles created by others, even though there is plenty of wonderful and educational information on the web.