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- Be Our Guest
- This issue featuring Sura Hart's report on the Peace Army
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- Introduction
Most countries around the world are a long way from a nation-wide preference for peace, but in tiny Costa Rica, the whole country's getting into it. It begins, as one would hope, with children and their educators; it is children who will carry the momentum home and beyond throughout their lives. CNVC trainer Sura Hart was recently in Costa Rica to train teachers at a pilot school project initiated by El Ejercito de Paz--The Peace Army--and to train Peace Army volunteers.
The Peace Army is a growing, organized force of trained peace-builders whose purpose is to develop a proven, skills-based peace education program in schools. Sura's observations and experiences have turned her into a whole-hearted believer in the power of the NVC-friendly Peace Army to enroll teachers throughout Costa Rica--and beyond--in its vision and training programs.
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- Riding the Big Wave:
- Costa Rica Welcomes the Peace Army
- By Sura Hart
- NVC in US Schools Project Coordinator,
- Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
If there were a list of countries where a nationwide NVC-based movement for peace might possible, Costa Rica would be high on that list. This is a country that abolished its military in 1949 and prioritizes protecting forests and educating children (resulting in a 96% literacy rate). It's a small enough country that when something important happens, the majority of people hear about it. And to the people of Costa Rica, communicating with heart and living in peace seem instinctive. So no wonder the Peace Army finds such fertile soil here.
Further support for the Peace Army is found in Costa Rica's Peace Education Law that requires peace education in every school. The Peace Army has even been endorsed by former Costa Rican president and Nobel Peace Prize laureate, Oscar Arias, who said, "Peace is not a dream, it's an arduous task. We must start by finding peaceful solutions to everyday conflicts with the people around us. Peace does not begin with the other person; it begins within each and every one of us." (Arias is again running for president of Costa Rica on a platform of Education and Inner Disarmament.)
- I confess that when I first heard Rita Marie Johnson tell me about her vision of a Peace Army, to begin in Costa Rican schools and then spread throughout the world, I thought it was a bit farfetched. But it took only a day hanging out in Costa Rica with Rita Marie and her corps of Peace Army volunteers, experiencing their high level of engagement and joyful participation with this big dream, to turn me into a believer. Throughout the two weeks in May that I spent training Peace Army volunteers and teachers in the first Costa Rican Peace Army pilot school--Escuela de Excelencia Elias Jimenez Castro--I kept experiencing the truth in what Rudolf Steiner said:
- The heart will teach us a new way of thinking.
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(continued from email) Rita Marie Johnson is a visionary peace educator. She founded an elementary school in Costa Rica, and worked at the U.N. University for Peace in Costa Rica. I first met Rita Marie in 2002, when Marianne Gothlin and I introduced NVC in an hour meeting with UPeace founder and former assistant secretary general of the U.N., Robert Muller, Rita Marie and a few other faculty. She immediately recognized the power of NVC and a few months later she started developing the Peace Army curriculum, with NVC at the heart of it, along with HeartMath, a program that effectively guides students to align and integrate the activity of the brain with the heart.
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This curriculum is now being taught to teachers at Escuela de Excelencia Elias Jimenez Castro. It will be evaluated at this and a few other pilot schools over the next couple of years. We expect the evaluation will show how this training increases heart intelligence and academic learning, and builds a culture of peace in schools. A ten-year plan includes teaching the Peace Army curriculum in Costa Rica and creating a Peace Army center and an intensive training program for educators around the world.
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As an NVC Partner, I worked with a dedicated, enthusiastic group of Peace Army volunteersand teachers in the pilot school. I have never in my life presented to such an open and enthusiastic group of people. They seemed on the edges of their seats with eagerness during our NVC workshops. During the assembly for the Day of Peace, I stood on a stage, looking into the beaming faces of 560 students and their teachers and offered a brief introduction (using my elementary Spanish) to listening with giraffe ears.
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I returned to the U.S. with new inspiration, encouragement, and confidence for bringing NVC to schools throughout the world. I plan to return to Costa Rica for a month in the fall, for another series of workshops with Peace Army volunteers and teachers and to see the Dalai Lama and hopefully share the Peace Army vision with him.
- Meanwhile, back in the U.S. and challenged by the arduous work of promoting peace in this culture, the Peace Army motto reminds me of the daily work at hand: Before directing the lightning in the sky, we must first harness the storms in our own hearts.
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Requests:
• If you would like to join or contribute to the Peace Army, email Rita Marie Johnson or Sura Hart. The Peace Army especially needs funding partners to provide NVC training and materials in schools. Visit them online at: www.rasurfoundation.org/
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 - A Word from Marshall
- "Love is Something You Do"
- By Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., Founder,
- Director of Ed. Services, CNVC
Nonviolent Communication really grew from my attempt to understand the concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it. I had come to the conclusion that love is not just something we feel, but it is something we manifest, something we do, something we have. And love is something we give: We give of ourselves in particular ways. It's a gift when you reveal yourself nakedly and honestly, at any given moment, for no other purpose than to reveal what's alive in you. Not to blame, criticize, or punish. Just "Here I am, and here is what I would like. This is my vulnerability at this moment." To me, that giving is a manifestation of love.
Another way we give of ourselves is through how we receive another person's message. It's a gift to receive it empathically, connecting with what's alive in them, making no judgment. It's a gift when we try to hear what is alive in the other person and what they would like. So Nonviolent Communication is just a manifestation of what I understand love to be. In that way it's similar to the Judeo-Christian concepts of "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "Judge not lest you be judged".
It's amazing what happens when we connect with people in this way. This beauty, this power connects us with an energy that I choose to call Beloved Divine Energy--one of the many names for God. So Nonviolent Communication helps me stay connected with that beautiful Divine Energy within myself and to connect with it in others. It's the closest thing to "love" and to "God" I've ever experienced.
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Global Calendar
Training Opportunities
Find trainings in NVC led by CNVC-certified trainers. Define your selections and just click on the "find NVC trainings" button to view a list of trainings that match your criteria. You will be able to view detailed information about each training opportunity in the resulting list. Click here.
Get Involved
To participate in NVC events visit the Get Involved area of the CNVC website, where you'll find events like the 5th Annual NVC Convention in April 2005, and the next quarterly NVC Global Network Webcast Conference Call.
NVC Global Network Webcast Conference Call
CNVC is hosting the second international webcast in November. Our topic for this webcast is Celebrating the Harvest; stories of trainings and using NVC and causing amazing results. We would love to hear from a broad diversity of people, from many countries and communities and would love to hear your story. We are asking folks to let us know if they would like to speak.
Send all requests to be a guest speaker to Lynn McMullen. Lynn will be coordinating this event and will reply. Not everyone who requests to talk will be able to do so, as we expect more volunteers than time will allow.
The date and time of the Broadcast will be either November 13 or November 20th at 9 AM Pacific time, USA. To stay informed about this and other CNVC events join the Friends of NVC email list by sending this email message with "subscribe" in the subject line.
You can also explore recent events such as:
The NVC Summer Festival
The 3rd Annual NVC Institute for Educators
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  Clarity Call: In This issue: - 10 Steps to Transforming Anger
- So Everyone Wins
- By Shari Klein and Neill Gibson
When we are angry, three things are happening: 1) We are upset because we are not getting our needs met; 2) We are blaming someone or something else for not getting what we want; 3) We are about to speak or act in such a way that will almost guarantee we will not get what we need, or that we will later regret.
When we are angry, we focus almost completely on what we don't want, and our thinking is caught up in images of the wrongness of others that are involved. We have lost sight of what we really do want and need.
What's Making You Angry? defines 10 steps you can learn that will change this pattern and teach you how to connect with the life-serving purpose of anger. In it you will discover where anger comes from and learn how to express it in ways that meet both your needs and the needs of others. Use these steps to re-focus your attention during an angry conflict and learn to create outcomes that are satisfying for everyone involved.
Step 1: Think of Anger as a Red Light on Your Dashboard
Step 2: Look Clearly at What Happened
Step 3: Take Responsibility
Step 4: "Name the Blame" and Get Clear About What You Feel
Step 5: Determine Your Needs
Step 6: Find the "Do" Behind the "Don't"
Step 7: Think of a Clear Action Request
Step 8: Name Their Feelings and Needs
Step 9: Decide Whose Need You Will Talk About First.
Step 10: Now Start Talking
Want to find out more about these steps and how to apply them? Order a copy of the booklet What's Making You Angry? 10 Steps to Transforming Anger So Everyone Wins
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- NVC in Action
Nonviolent Communication serves as the foundation for many exciting, life-enriching projects around the world. Every issue we'll highlight a new or ongoing project in an effort to keep you connected with the practical side of what others are doing to help build a more peaceful planet.
 This issue: The NVC Parenting Project - By Inbal Kashtan, CNVC Parenting Project Coordinator
The NVC Parenting Project has two primary goals:
1) To contribute to meeting parents' needs for support, connection, understanding, acceptance, growth, hope, inspiration, and more, thereby supporting parents' ability to nurture a generation of people who grow up with peaceful paradigms;
2) To support and enhance CNVC's mission of contributing toward a world in which everyone's needs are attended to and conflicts are resolved peacefully.
When we as parents want our children to do something they don't want to do, we're often tempted to force their compliance by using the enormous physical, emotional, and societal power we as adults have over children. Yet I am convinced that attempting to coerce a child to do anything neither works effectively in the short term nor supports families' long-term needs (except when using "protective" force with threats to health or safety). In NVC, we refer to using power to enforce what we want as "power-over," in contrast with using power to meet everyone needs, which we refer to as "power-with."
In this context, when I hear parents--or parenting experts--say that consequences are effective, I often wonder what they mean. I believe "effective" usually means that parents get compliance from children--that children do what parents tell them to do--at least for a while. Both the goal (compliance) and the means (rewards and consequences) come at a price. They not only involve fear, guilt, shame, obligation, or desire for reward, they are also often accompanied by anger or resentment. And because rewards and consequences are extrinsic motivations, children become dependent on them and lose touch with their intrinsic motivation to meet their own and others' needs.
I believe that the most powerful and joyful intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our own and others' needs. Both children and adults act out of this intrinsic motivation when they feel genuinely connected to themselves and each other, when they trust that their needs matter to the other, and when they experience the freedom to choose to contribute to the other.
NVC is a dynamic and highly effective process for connecting with your children. If you'd like support in raising kids with NVC, click here.
If you'd like to find out more about The NVC Parenting Project, including workshops, click here. If you'd like to contact Inbal Kashtan, click here.
Next Issue: NVC in Brazil, with Dominic Barter
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- Materials in the Spotlight
- NVC Booklets
A growing line of easy-reading NVC booklets is available that deals with practical aspects of living with NVC. For a complete list of titles, or to purchase these booklets on line, visit the NonviolentCommunication Store.
You may also order these titles and additional audio and video materials from CNVC at: http://www.cnvc.org/matcds.htm. All titles published by PuddleDancer Press can be found at your favorite local bookstore and online bookstores.
NVC Materials Worldwide
To order educational materials:
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- Requests/Support Opportunities
- Support CNVC in Creating a More Peaceful World
We live in extraordinary times. Violence of every kind is out of control:
. Every 14 seconds, a woman in the US is beaten by her husband or lover.
. Rape in AIDS infected countries is at record numbers
. 27 million people live in slavery, mostly female sex slaves
. The US has active military troops in over 100 countries.
. The potential of war is growing in many regions.
. Millions of people are living in prison.
Yet those of us who have experienced the impact of NVC in our own lives know that peace is possible, in spite of these global realities, and that we can create a world where all people can get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully. Visit the Celebrations page to see some inspirational examples on the CNVC website. More will be posted in the weeks and months to come.
To support the growth of NVC based education and action, become a monthly contributor or one time donor-download the Donation Form, fill this out, and send it in to the CNVC office either by fax: 1-818-957-1424 or by mail: 2428 Foothill Blvd., Suite E, La Crescenta, CA 91214, USA.
Visit the CNVC Support page
Learn more about the NVC Parenting Project
Learn more about other NVC Organizations
 Email this page to a friend
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